Manny Acoba Bonzo

Suicide – Is it a Permanent Solution to a Temporary Problem? A mistake ?
Or
Forcing an Ending of your own Story
OR
Just The passing of yet another friend

He was my friend but, I don’t think he considered me a friend of his anymore
What do I know? Sadly, I do know that Manny Bonzo has ceased to exist
I truly do not know if Manny did, or did not “Do That Thing”, but he certainly asked that question
Who among us has not truly asked “That Question” in earnest?
Can one actually go on from here? Continue on from this particular place in time?
Is life itself, any longer worth the living? Or has corruption of everything you love and everything you know infected all that there is?
And to such a profound degree, that suicide seems to be the only viable alternative to the continuation of you and life itself? Q: Is my time in time at an end?
You are most fortunate and extremely rare if you have never experienced a period in your life wherein there were no other viable options available to you other than suicide!!
I still find the concept of suicide extremely savage, and it still continues to frighten me very badly when anyone commits suicide or even contemplates it
And as for me? Not a single day goes by, wherein I do not ask that question. For i am blessed with Bi-Polar personality disorder or manic depressive personality disorder, Manny Bonzo was a fellow sufferer

Bipolar disorder or manic-depressive disorder, also referred to as bipolar affective disorder or manic depression, is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a category of mood disorders defined by the presence of one or more episodes of abnormally elevated energy levels, cognition, and mood with or without one or more depressive episodes. The elevated moods are clinically referred to as mania or, if milder, hypomania. Individuals who experience manic episodes also commonly experience depressive episodes, or symptoms, or mixed episodes in which features of both mania and depression are present at the same time.[2] These episodes are usually separated by periods of "normal" mood; but, in some individuals, depression and mania may rapidly alternate, which is known as rapid cycling. Extreme manic episodes can sometimes lead to such psychotic symptoms as delusions and hallucinations. The disorder has been subdivided into bipolar I, bipolar II, cyclothymia, and other types, based on the nature and severity of mood episodes experienced; the range is often described as the bipolar spectrum

And I find it especially disturbing, whenever the person who contemplates it, or commits it, is elderly or has somehow managed to find a way to live past, let’s say, twenty-five years of age
Some part of me wants suicide to a young person's inevitability or prerogative.
That sounds quite horrible of me doesn’t it? I know the death of a young person is always a tragedy
I think it must be that if they can do it at, or near my age, then I can still do it. And I think about it.
Manny, it seems suffered from an assortment of afflictions & was on medications for mood disorders.
And for some reason that no one will “Probably never know”, he was deprived of these meds for the last week of his life and was discovered Hanging at his place of residence.
Like Hamlets musings, on the comparison between the pain of life which he sees as inevitable (the sea of troubles, The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, The heart-ache , The thousand natural shocks) and the fear of the uncertainty of death and of possible nightmarish continuation of “status quo ante” in suicide. (What if it changes nothing?)
How could it possibly change anything? Only a lack of Life Experience could possible explain this
And yet he actually killed himself.
To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep
I understand that it's normal especially for young people to contemplate suicide because when they're going through mental anguish the experience is often new and frightening to them, and they don't have the life experience spelled “Personal Horror” nor mental maturity spelled “Acclimation to Personal Horror” To put what they're going through into perspective but, to have survived for fifty plus years?
We should all know by this age, that it probably changes nothing. Or rather Dying changes everything, but resolves nothing
And yet he actually killed himself. Then perhaps, so can I, So can you
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered country from whose bourn
No traveler returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all
So far, every single contemplation of suicide, has resulted in conscience making a coward of me
And to good end also, but now not so Manny Acoba Bonzo.