Dream, Having a Man (Thad Talking to his Tail)

Pieces of me cry out in the night
Never fear they will not go away
I know that I will not lose this sight
Understand you do not understand
What I want is to regain the mind
Never fear it won’t come back for you
Why I wonder do you seldom speak to me
But the part of you that can not die away

I want to hate the way I needed you
You’ll never know all the things I had to do
I want to hate the way I needed you
But then you always were then thing I would become

Would that I could find myself again
Never fear I will not even try
I know that I never was this blind
I don’t see why you will not see at all
I know that I will not end this plight
Understand you do not understand
What if I could become a whole man?
I know that you would come back for me
If our roles were reversed and I’m still not sure that there not
Perhaps it is something you’d consider if you knew

I want to hate the way I needed you
You’ll never know all the things I had to do
I want to hate the way I needed you
But then you always were then thing I would become

Would that I was still there when you woke
As something more than a vague disquiet or long forgotten memory
The meaning of god is tied up in this cosmic joke
The ringing quiet in the still vibrating air after I scream your name
You wake from me then but for a moment we are the same
I could never know all the things I know you know
If learning is not memory then ignorance is just a starting point
A place we must all learn to start what we start to learn
Some of my learning curves are asymptotic of infinity

I want to hate the way I needed you
You’ll never know all the things I had to do
I want to hate the way I needed you
But then you always were then thing I would become